Fanta$tic Advice #1

As a new academic year approaches, the most important thing nascent scholars can do is turn to the wisdom of those who have come before them.

They must seek out and soak up the knowledge of alumni who have been there, done that and drawn useful conclusions.

Are you entering the school year? Are you reveling in the cooling temperatures and the brilliant autumn leaves? Are you thrilled to be away from those who claim you as a "dependant"? Are you tickled pink at the thought of maybe, finally, you know, if you play your cards right, getting laid?

If "Yes!" was your response to any of the above, I want you to lean in to your computer and PAY VERY CLOSE ATTENTION to the golden nugget of wisdom I'm about to share with you:

DO NOT PLEDGE TO PAY ANY MONEY YOU DO NOT CURRENTLY HAVE.

As soon as you step foot on campus, you will be smothered with opportunity. Primarily, the opportunity to donate money to the school that will be providing your higher education. Here's how it's going to go:

You'll be at some extracurricular activities fair. Perhaps you'll stop by the yearbook committee or the ping pong club booths. It will be a pretty hot day, and you'll think, "Man, I sure could use one of those mini-motorized fans kids are carrying around. I wonder which booth is giving those out." You will approach someone with a fan, "Hey, where did you get that?"

"Oh, by the Alumni Association table," some chump will casually respond. "All I had to do was sign up to be a member. It's $400, but it's cool, you don't have to pay until after graduation. And this fan...this motorized fan is great in this heat."

Sure, the mini fan is great on a hot day, but it is not worth $400.

You may think to yourself, "Well, after I graduate and start working, I'll be rich, and easily be able to pay off the money, SURE! I'll sign up!"

This is a mistake.

You don't have $400 now, and you won't have $400 when you start working, if you start working, if anyone will hire you with your sociology and political science degree. Sure, you're pre-med/pre-law/pre-filthy rich now, but... Don't do it. Don't pledge money you do not have. Don't join any "Associations" with member fees. That enticing fan is not worth your first paycheck, which I guarantee you, will be earned by staring at some spreadsheet.